12.04.17, 8:32am: Avoid the Drive-thru: A Lesson on Elves.

This morning at Dunkin Donuts, I went into the store because the drive-thru line was ridiculous.

Two kids in front of me were interested in the ornaments as we all waited for our coffee.

Daughter: Mom? What’s the difference between a boy elf and a girl elf?

Maybe I’m embellishing the story a bit here, but the whole store went quiet anticipating¬†how exactly Mom was going to handle that question at 8:32 in the morning at the DD.

Mom: One’s a boy and one’s a girl.

Interesting approach.

Daughter: No! How can you tell… like with their… hair? Like in real life?

All of the ornaments were the exact same; no difference—they all had short, brown hair.

I was going to chime in that perhaps hair isn’t what defines us as boy or girl—girls can have short hair (this point would have been solid had I still had short hair), boys can have long hair—and perhaps those elves ornaments represent elves as a whole, androgynous and non-binary, but I decided I’d just wait for my coffee.

Mom at this point opted out of the conversation and the son took over with some bullshit story about their ears.

His sister totally bought it.


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