10.10.17, 3:38am: Demon Rats.

It started last Tuesday.

I heard scratching on the walls. The sun wasn’t up. Having seen too many scary movies, I assumed it was demons or rats and I went back to sleep. I’d call an exterminator when the sun came up and if they can’t find anything, I’d call a priest.

The exterminator didn’t find anything. Granted, he didn’t really look; he didn’t go on the roof. He found rat tunnels in the attic, but this house was a shithole before I bought it so those could have been leftovers from before the flip.

He did find a light switch it my attic, which made me laugh because I was using a scary movie dying flashlight to look up there prior to his discovery. Pretty much snapped me out of being irrationally afraid of my attic.

Though, when that light burns out, it’ll be snapped back into place.

He explained some of my siding had come loose and that was probably it. It was probably blowing in the wind, every day around 6:00 in the morning. I may not know much about rodent behavior, but I’m not an idiot. He left. I put the siding back in place. The noise has continued every morning since then.

This morning it was before 4:00 and that’s bullshit.

The new exterminator came out today and got on the roof. He found openings and handed me a proposal for nearly $800 to fix the problem. I get a discount because I’ll clear the traps myself.

*gross*

We discussed the birdseed in my backyard, “You like all of the animals in your yard, I’m guessing?” “Yeah. I realize the birdseed brings all the critters to my yard…”

So, it isn’t demons; not even demon rats. It’s homeownership and it’s expensive.

I’d so much rather it be demons; way better story.

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