03.01.17, 9:38pm: Too Many Scary Movies.

I am a huge fan of scary movies, ghost stories, ghost hunting shows, Halloween, etc.

We watched “Ouija: Origin of Evil” last night. Meh. Kind of spooky because I don’t like Ouija boards (experience when I was like 15; scared the shit out of me), but predictable. The night before we watched “Hush“. That was “we better close all of the windows, just in case” scary. Good one! Yesterday, I watched “I am the Pretty Little Thing that Lives in the House“. Suspenseful sort of, but super slow and boring. If you get a chance, watch “House Bound“. This is a favorite!

Having Netflix and Amazon Prime enables me to watch scary movies until I’m afraid to walk through the house without turning on every light, which anymore takes something really over the top. Years ago I watched “Paranormal Activity” and didn’t sleep well for two weeks, I was that freaked out.

My boyfriend at the time slept over one night towards the end of this two weeks and I was happy to finally, maybe, sleep. We snuggled in for the night and I felt myself relax. And then I heard the closet door creak open. The light from outside brightened the darkness just enough for me to see this happen. Immediately, I was terrified all over again. Practically speechless and basically hyperventilating, I shook my guy until he woke up, “The closet door opened by itself…” He stood up dazed, “What?” “The closet…” He, still half asleep, walked over and opened the door where promptly his bag fell out and on to the floor.

Phew!

Him: Wait. Did you send *me* to get the demon in the closet?

Me: *nods*

Now, however, I think I’ve seen so many scary movies at this point in my life, these would be my reactions if a demon actually showed up in the middle of the night:

It: *pulls off cover*

Me: *yells at Dingo*

Dingo: The hell did I do…

Me: *grabs another cover, falls back to sleep*

It: *pulls off that cover*

I have many covers

Me: *grabs another, zzzzzzzz*

It: *gives up with the covers, goes for random noise*

Me: *immediately awake, pretty sure it’s a squirrel on the roof or the cat puking, hopes it’s a demon because that means no critters potentially in the attic or vomit to clean up, falls back to sleep*

It:

It: *opens mouth extra wide in my face, makes scary noise*

Me: *pops an eye open, it’s dark, can’t see shit, assumes it’s the kid* Did you brush and floss? *rolls over, tells her to go back to bed, falls back to sleep*

It: *gives up, sulks, goes back to wherever it came from*

Dingo: *moves… a little*

Me: *wide awake, sitting up, can see in the dark—all of the sudden, totally pissed* God damn it!

Dingo: The hell did I do…

Us: *fall back to sleep*

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